The other day, one of his friends said, “people think yuh quiet an yuh can chat so much.”
Ah. The seeming paradox of the “talkative introvert”. We all know one. Perhaps we have been one too. These persons can be confusing to their friends because one minute they are chatty, and the next, they are withdrawn. Are they upset? No. They just rather being by themselves. Let’s get into the mind of one such “talkative introvert”.
At a glance, Jordan is seen as a vibrant chatterbox. He is a 22-year-old university student, who admits he has battled with anxiety issues all his life. He aspires to have a stable living situation and steady income in 5 years and like any other regular young person, he is still figuring it out.
“One of my favourite things to do is listen to music and when I am not doing that, I am playing a game or watching Netflix. I spend a lot of my time by myself”, he says.
So how exactly did he end up being called a chatterbox?
Jordan was born in St. Andrew but grew up in Portmore with both his mother and father until they separated when he was about 12 years of age. Though he did not share much information about what transpired after, he does recall memorable moments of his childhood being centred around swimming and swim meets.
“I’ve pretty much had anxiety my entire life and it has dulled my experiences. My fear of general stuff like talking on the phone, ordering food and talking to strangers hindered a lot of stuff for me. Like for example. I’d not apply for some university because I’d not want to be rejected and other stupid stuff like that”, he said.
“Since 2020, I have been constantly talking to friends. It actually is the only thing keeping me sane at the moment. That and the odd Netflix show or two and I’m good”.
So perhaps his chatterbox demeanour is actually innate, but on the other hand, he is shy, which was borne out of some of his life experiences. Shyness is about fear. Shy people are afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing in front of other people, and as Jordan mentioned, he was always fearful of something. Anxiety is a feeling of fear or apprehension about what’s to come, while introverts, on the other hand, find energy and strength in being alone. Introverts lose energy when they deal with the outward world. They are drained by outside stimuli. They are usually happiest when they are alone or with a small, quiet group of like-minded people. It has little to do with fear of others or situations.
“I don’t believe I haven’t fully overcome my anxiety but it’s gotten dramatically better. I guess I am also more confident because I didn’t use to talk as much as I do now. I tend to play devil’s advocate for every situation to help people understand the full scope of the situation. In other words, I’m like my friend’s therapist so to speak”, he says.
Jordan becomes chatty around the people with who he is comfortable with and though he enjoys talking to his friends, he also equally enjoys spending time by himself.
He may very well be a shy introvert who battles with anxiety but is still able to exude confidence, vibrance and loquaciousness. The catalyst here seems to be his friends, the people who accept him, the ones who know that Jordan considers himself unique because he is probably one of the few men who strongly believes that the government should not be able to tell a woman what she can and can’t do with her body. The mystery, dear readers, are his friends.
Since both shy people and introverts tend to retreat, albeit for different reasons, introversion and shyness can look alike on the surface, but they both run deeper than that. It can get more complicated because extroverts can also be shy.
How far does the mystery go? What we do know now, is that having great friends can bring out the best you, in you!
