Dear Men,

Recently, there have been several campaigns arising (again) in Jamaican society focused on trying to stop the violence against women, sparked by the tragic passing of Khanice Jackson. It’s heart-wrenching how unprotected our women are against violent crimes perpetrated by men. If you are a male, it may come as a bumboclaat surprise to you but you are NOT entitled to a woman’s body. Period. Full Stop. End of story. Argue with your misogynistic friends.

Since childhood, you were taught that you are invincible. You’ve grown up to identify with male professionals that gross salaries outweigh that of their female counterparts; seen the perceived superiority of male athletics and sports teams; you idolize your grandfathers and uncles who sprinkled their seeds as if pollenation was a human sport and let’s not forget the age-old saying “boys will be boys”. But here’s the hard truth, fellas: Nutten nuh bumboclaat guh suh.

Now, you’re an adult and responsible for your own actions. The key takeaway here? Adult and Responsible. That means all that unresolved anger, misguided arrogance, misunderstood identity crises, crippling anxiety, and shattering insecurity needs to be addressed so you don’t go about spreading even more bumbloclaat toxicity.

You are more at risk than you bumboclaat realize. In an article published by mindwise.org, men die by suicide 3.5x more than women; about six out of ten men experience at least one traumatic event in their lifetime; men are almost 2x more likely to binge drink than women; forty-nine percent (49%) of men feel more depressed than they admit to the people in their lives.

There are persons who will argue that men are not at fault; they were spurred on by the actions of women and are entitled to deal with these transgressions how they see fit. These groups would seek to paint the picture that the victim caused the tragedy upon themselves. Now you tell me, sumn can bumboclaat guh suh?

Luckily, there is a solution to the problem: seeking therapy. Another newsflash: Your girlfriends/wives/spoogies/side-pieces/best friends are not your bumboclaat therapists. There are licensed professionals for that. Utilize them. They went to schools, received degrees, and certifications to literally sit down and help you heal your traumas. Yes, you will have to open up and speak on things that you’ve shoved in a box for years; yes, you will feel vulnerable and exposed; yes, healing is hard work. But if you can sit for eight hours every weekday to fix some nameless, faceless CEO’s problem, you can make the time to fix your bumboclaat ones too.

In an article written by menshealth.com, therapy has been proven to help men in several areas of their lives. U.K. researchers found that 13 weeks of cognitive-behavioral training significantly increased workers’ job satisfaction and self-esteem; Researchers at the University of South Florida found that tearing up in the presence of another person (like your therapist) can lead to a greater mood boost than flushing your ductwork by yourself; and forty-two percent (42%) of men ages 18 to 32 view the shrink’s couch as an essential part of wellness. As Uncle Popcaan once said, numbers don’t bumboclaat lie.

Going to therapy and doing the work to heal yourself is the new bumboclaat way to man up. Change the narrative from ‘what women can do to protect themselves’ to ‘address and heal the traumas that lead to men committing violent crimes.’

You have no obligation to stick to a bumboclaat outdated narrative where men don’t speak up about their negative feelings or seek the help they need to resolve them. It has to bumboclaat end. Boys will not be boys. Boys will be bumboclaat held accountable.

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